The following video, ‘I’m Here For You’, was presented by J Richard Knapp, CEO and
Stop Bullies Founder and CEO
Cathy Knapp, President of Stop-Bullies.com to an audience of three secondary schools providing services to thousands of students, which included classified, certified, and administrative employees. This presentation focused on the ‘culture’ needed in a school’s foundation to develop an effective bully prevention program.
Stop-Bullies.com is pleased to announce our October contributing authors and articles. 
Our mission is to give every parent access to these wonderful experts in relationship to bullying through their schools and other organizations:
Does your school have a parent teacher organization? How frequently do you discussion bully prevention or provide meaningful opportunities to learn bully prevention strategies and interventions. Answer: All the time!
J Richard Knapp, CEO of Stop-Bullies.com
Bullying often takes place in front of peers and friends. These individuals become the ‘bystanders’ to the bullying incident and may be considered either a positive or negative influence on the event unfolding in front of them. Inaction by the witness could be interpreted by the bully as agreement with the behavior and thus increasing the bully’s sense of power over the victim.
Highly effective bully programs must have a component that focuses on the bystander. We must make sure our policies, procedures, instruction, and programs take into account the fear factor of the witness.
How many of our children actually witness bullying? Research tells us approximately 88% of our teens have witnessed at least one or more bullying incidents. The role of these witnesses could have a tremendous impact on the prevention of bullying.
Let’s begin by understanding why some bystanders choose not to intervene. First, bystanders may be afraid to get involved. These people fear becoming the new target of the bully or even getting hurt while defending the victim.
Second, some bystanders are confused and unsure what to do – so in turn they do nothing at all. Bystanders need a plan of what to do. (I will discuss in depth my recommendations in next month’s issue.) These bystanders may choose to disassociate themselves with the victim, which may result in deep feelings of guilt.
Third, some bystanders are actually rewarding the behavior of the bully and support the incident which is occurring. These individuals need to be held accountable for their behavior. It is not unusual for these witnesses to blame the victim and attempt to vindicate the bully.
I am often concerned about some anti-bully advocates telling the bystander to intervene on behalf of the victim. This is easier to suggest rather than do. The bystander can be an effective ingredient in our bully prevention strategies. Lets make sure they are well trained.
Stop-Bullies.com Publication
Bullying amongst girls reveals some startling girl bullying statistics. A girl is bullied every seven minutes in the school yard, playground, stairwell, classroom or bathroom. Girl bullying statistics show that 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school. In addition, intervention accounts for only 4% among teachers and 11% among the victim’s peers. Sadly and quite shockingly, 85% of the time there is no intervention by anyone in authority whatsoever.
The girl bullying statistics, once again, brings up the point that school girl bullying is either dismissed or not considered dangerous. One of the many ways to discourage school girl bullying is for the administrative staff, teachers, guidance counselors and school-based support team to develop a program designed to encourage kids to be kind to each other. Give them the tools they need to stop school girl bullying as it unfolds and, more importantly, find a way for girls who are bullied to be able to tell a school staff member without worrying about the consequences.
The problem is that most school girl bullying encompasses friends who are told to keep tabs on the victim. For example, they may notice that the victim talks more frequently to a guidance counselor, or makes a visit to the assistant principal’s office soon after an episode occurs, or they may check to see if she is being picked up by her parents or a guardian after school.
Bullying amongst girls is rampant. Girl bullying statistics reveal that only 15% of girls who are bullied actually tell someone. This is an alarming yet consistent statistic which underscores the need for a program designed to bring about awareness of just how serious school girl bullying has become.
In today’s middle schools, school girl bullies are difficult to discipline. Moreover, catching them in the act is almost impossible since they are not as direct as boy bullies who overtly choose to fight. Bullying amongst girls is subtle. It is usually done by passing along rumors, leaving the victim helpless in locating the source.
While boys may bully other boys, either because they are different or appear weak, school girl bullying impedes on one’s emotions. In middle schools especially, new girls find it difficult to form friendships and because peer pressure is so high, they may fall in with the wrong group of girls led by a girl bully. Thus, if they witness an incident of school girl bullying, they are betwixt and between as to whether or not the incident should be reported.
According to the National Institute of Childhood Diseases, “bullying is a public health problem that merits attention.” One might argue that this assessment does not come close to solving the problem, and that school girl bullying has gone beyond simply “meriting attention.”
Bullying amongst girls is more widespread that once thought, yet at the same time it eludes officials in schools. School incident reports are rarely filed in these cases, and parents of the girl bully view this type of behavior as warranted. These are parents who exhibit abusive behavior as well, and it seems logical to conclude that girl bullying is a learned behavior.
I had the pleasure of training 60 peer leaders in Rumson, NJ. All 60 of these kids are entering 8th grade. Each one of them went through an application process and was awarded this leadership position in their school.
I began the program by asking them why each of them wanted to be a peer leader. I got a range of answers. Here is what some of them said:
While some of the teens seemed to be embarrassed to tell me their motives, I assured them that as long as they were willing to listen, learn and assist others, they would have a great impact on the culture and climate of their school.
As adults, we know the model of electing a group of influential people to spread a message or help create a movement is an extremely effective way of reaching, educating and working with a large number of people. Many of us have had the experience of accomplishing things on a large scale as a result of sitting in as a committee member, a council member, an advisory board, a manager or a congressman! Read More
We are often asked at Stop. Bullies.com, “How do you connect the Stop-Bullies Parent Newsletter and Webinars through the school website?”
Answer: At Stop-Bullies.com, we are very aware of the time available to the school and have responded to this awareness by creating a very easy 5 step process:
STEP 1 Complete the purchase of your school’s subscription.
STEP 2 Stop-Bullies.com will send you a link and information for placing this connection on your website.
STEP 3 Inform parents and staff of the services you have purchased. Direct these people to the link.
STEP 4 Parents and staff members click on the link and register themselves to receive the newsletter and webinar (premium package). Once the parent or staff member is registered, they will receive their notices and publications sent directly from our servers to their computers.
STEP 5 Design an ongoing strategy to notify parents and staff of the purchased service for them. (Note: Be sure to inform the parent or staff member that email addresses are protected and never sold or shared.)
Should you have any further questions, feel free to contact us through the ‘Contact’ page.
By J Richard Knapp, Stop-Bullies CEO and Founder
Stop Bullies Founder and CEO
For many principal’s late August is the beginning of a new school year. It is an unbelievable busy time for administrators as you make sure the building is ready for students and staff on the opening of school. Many days include time spent on locating and distributing curriculum materials, student registration, new teacher’s needs, concerned parents, and a whole host of people who want just a minute of your time. As a former principal for over two decades, I know what it is like to walk in your shoes. With that in mind, I have come up with a brief school bully prevention checklist that can be reviewed as your time allows during these very busy days:
Although this is not the answer to every component of bully prevention, it is a good starting point when time is limited. I sincerely hope this checklist will prove helpful to you in your preparations for the start-up of school and prevention of bullying.
If you are looking for a program designed to teach elementary students how to resolve minor problems on their own, we recommend that you consider Kelso’s Choice Conflict Management Skills Program. This program was designed by co-authors and former child development specialists Diane Hipp and Barbara Clark. Together, they created a curriculum designed for elementary age students that “is based on the premise that every child is capable of becoming a peacemaker”. This program teaches students the difference between small problems (ones which they resolve on their own) and big problems (which require adult intervention).
Kelso’s Choice is a program that utilizes a problem solving frog named ‘Kelso’ who teaches his younger friend ‘Lilly’ how to solve problems students face day to day at school and in life. Students have the opportunity to hear stories of ‘Lilly’ facing challenges, small and big, and have the opportunity to reflect and collaborate ideas on how they would themselves handle that situation. In the curriculum students are directed to handle big problems by asking an adult for assistance. In handling small problems, students are taught to use 9 choices that are called Kelso’s Choice Wheel, now called the KC Wheel. The wheel gives students 9 choices that include; share and take turns, apologize, go to another game, wait and cool off, make a deal, talk it out, ignore it, tell them to stop, and walk away.
Kelso’s Choice Conflict Management Skills Program contains various accessories such as posters, videos, stories, etc. for use in educational settings.
We believe this program deserves careful consideration by schools and districts in the area of conflict management.
Stop-Bullies.com
If you are working with middle school students, Committee for Children has developed a program to promote school success and prevent risky behavior. Second Steps is a program designed for students in grades 6 thru 8 assisting in the development of coping skills. “Second Steps helps your students learn the protective skills to make good choices and stay in engaged in school despite the pitfalls of substance abuse, bullying, cyber bullying and peer pressure”. These issues are addressed through talking, games, exercises and practicing techniques to address such situations.
Second Steps is a program designed for easy implementation in a classroom by the classroom teacher. It is approximately 15 weeks and includes movie clips, homework and prewritten letters to parents, knowledge assessments and CD ROM to reproduce copies. Another aspect of this program worth noting is tools to boost learning. They have incorporated a “Chill and Spill Journal”, which is a guided journal to help students work through difficult issues.